do you ever get days where you are humbled by

someone else's story, or the things that they choose to share with you?

well today was one of those - in fact the last two days have provided multiple opportunities for me to put some of my counselling skills to the test - yesterday it was 2 people who asked me to simply listen to them and provide some advice and support and today, well, today just blew me away...

see i work in hr for a big organisation - that organisation is going through a lot of change right now...actually that change was the driver of yesterdays conversations - people's anxiety about the changes, what it means for them, who they might end up reporting to, and general concerns about their complete lack of being able to control the outcome - this seems to be commonplace where i work and even though it's something i would dearly be able to change - i am not naive enough to think that my beliefs will become their way of operating - at least not overnight! see sometimes i am very positive - if not a little deluded....

anyway, i digress! today was seemingly just another day at the office - but one of my customers asked me if i would spend some time with one of her staff who was struggling to make a decision about his next step...now this isn't someone i know well - perhaps in the 8 months i've been their hr person, i've spent a total of 2 hours with him - and all of those with other people, never one on one...

so i was of course pretty thrilled to be asked to talk to him and i also thought 'what a great opportunity to use my counselling skills'! and not in a disrespectful or devious way - see the greatest skill one learns as a counsellor is how to listen! sounds easy right? but real listening is not a skill that we learn as humans - pity really!

so we got talking (turns out we talked for well over an hour!) and basically he was asking for an independant opinion of the opportunity he was considering - so we had a good conversation about that - i asked him what he thought the pro's and con's were - what was in it for him - what other opportunities he thought might present themselves in the short term etc etc - so after much conversation i simply asked him 'will you regret not taking the role if you didn't?' - he said he would, so i said that i thought that was his answer....i also suggested that despite what other people might tell him was the right thing to do, only he could know what was right for him and that any decision he made would be the right one for him - he thanked me (that is ALWAYS the best part!)...

then he asked me if he could ask me something more personal - he ended up telling me that he was considering changing his name - obviously this is not something i have experienced first hand (altho a very good friend of mine did change his name, but for very different reasons) so i felt absolutely unqualified to 'advise' him - what i suggested was that he be comfortable with his reasons for wanting to do so, and understanding the impact it could have on the people in his life...i have no idea whether he will go through with it or not but the fact that he felt comfortable enough with me and trusted me enough to share something he said he hadn't shared with anyone except his partner is indeed a privelege...

and some of you will be wondering why i am blogging about it - and i have thought about that - the answer is this: i am feeling extremely fortunate and wanted to share it...also since the blog is cryptic enough and not readily accessible to work colleagues i feel that i can keep both his identity and decision anonymous...

i guess counselling must really be my calling - it never ceases to amaze me how much of a privelege it is to listen to someone sharing their story with me - and i am always humbled when someone chooses to share something very personal to them with me...

to you xxx, may you have confidence in the decisions you make...