Wednesday, May 28, 2008

i kinda have the mean reds....

and not about everything in my life (obviously, coz you know there are a few areas that are going fabulously well)...it's really all about work (and not what i do exactly, but where i do it)...i feel like i'm in a sort of holding pattern/trap and i don't really like it...so much so i woke up having had a tidal wave dream lastnight - and that is NEVER a good sign...

maybe that's why i keep saying i wish i could win the lotto - not so i could give up work altogether but really so that i can do the sort of work i want to - and i can hear you asking well why aren't i doing that now, well coupla reasons: financial (this is usually most people's reasons for not doing what they want to) and qualifications...

see right now i am not qualified to do what i want - altho it's only about 6 mths away, so technically (even tho i doubt i'll be financially able to walk away from corporate life by then) i could start doing it then, but i have made a decision to do further study (to enhance the qualification and as i am LOVING what i am learning and the people i get to study with, not to mention some of the fabulous educators i get to learn from)...which means that i won't be finished my Masters until probably mid to late 2010...

which sounds like a long time when written down, but really, it's only 2 years away and since i have spent almost 100% of my working life to date (which has been 17 years) doing a job i a) didn't really like and b) would not choose if i had my time over again (despite the many fabulous things it has allowed me to do - for which i am grateful) doing something i am not passionate about, so now i have found my passion, my calling as it were, i wanna be doing it now! right now...

sooo i guess the mean reds is probably gonna continue for a while and i am gonna try and work on being positive and staying true to my ultimate goal - i am sure that so many people fall off their path during these times coz it seems easier to get off the path, but now that i know what i want to do i'm absolutely NOT gonna fall off the path...

so universe if you are listening - please give me the patience to continue on the path i have chosen for myself, give me the resilience to get through these times of malaise and give me the ability to still count my blessings, as they are many :-)

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