did something this morning that i

probably should have done ages ago!

one of my oldest friends and i have kind of grown apart - and i know why and i've really done nothing about it, until today...a mutual friend of ours told me that he's having a particularly difficult time of things so i figured it was time to move forward...

see for years i have probably been his best friend in terms of supporting him thru a crap situation and he is now moving on from that and rebuilding his life (which i'm delighted about btw)...but in the throes of doing that i think he has forgotten that friendship is a two way street...

basically i felt like everytime we talked it was all about him, so much so that a couple of months ago when i was having a really rough time, he called, asked me how i was and when i said not great, he launched into a long conversation about him...

truth is, i was hurt, he hurt my feelings, made me feel unimportant and i guess i sensed an inbalance in our friendship that i hadn't really seen before...and i didn't like it!

now this is the other thing - i have (naughtily) bitched about how he behaved to two other mutual friends and i kept thinking that instead of telling them i should be telling him how i feel...but truth is i just couldn't bring myself to do it...

so today i sent him a text, just saying hi, heard he was having a tough time and that i was thinking about him, also that i'd been 'quiet' for a while for a reason and at some point would like the opportunity to chat to him about that...

so he called and we chatted (again mainly about him) and when i eluded to how i was feeling (namely abandoned by him) he responded with 'well you're strong' or something like that and i wonder if in his head that makes it ok to do what he did???

i'm confused, and hurt and not really sure i am actually as strong as he thinks...