ok i'm angry, really angry and it all started on saturday morning with a call to my parents following an email from my mother who forwarded an email from my cousin.........sounds like nothing right? WRONG..........
so turns out this cousin, who lives in england is apparently coming to australia with her husband (he's nice, i've met him) for xmas - she has emailed my parents asking (amongst other things) if i could provide some tips on new york and if they can stay with me when they are here in sydney...
now this person is not 15, she is nearly 28, seemingly well educated, married, holds down a job as a solicitor but seems to think it's ok to ask my parents if she can stay in my house? how the fuck does that work????? why can't she get in touch with me and ask me - it's my house after all.........last time i looked i paid the mortgage each month
so it gets better - after getting cranky at my mum for being the messenger (sorry mum, that was probably out of line) i suggest to her that she tells this cousin to email me directly......
so tonight i get home to find an email from said cousin and when i open it, to my horror, it is simply the email she sent my parents which she has forwarded to me....................with two sentence changes so it doesn't look as though it's actually been forwarded!!! no hi sarah how are you? heard you had a new job, hope it's going well, no we are coming to australia and are going to be in sydney just before xmas and were wondering (even tho i haven't spoken to you for 3 years) if it would be ok for us to stay with you etc etc - simply the email she sent to my parents forwarded to me.........
i am gobsmacked......almost speechless. ok ok i said almost!!!
so i have something of a dilemma! this is someone i do not keep in touch with (ok, we did when we were both younger as i was the 'cool older cousin', now i'm probably just that old cousin who lives in sydney), i don't see her when i go to the uk unless her mother (my aunty) organises 'family' type gatherings that she happens to be at - i haven't spoken to her at any length in more than 3 or so years and now i get a forwarded email and they expect me to put them up..........where is the courtesy in that? she was brought up with the same values as me - surely it wouldn't be that hard to actually take a few sentences (yep, that's all it would be really) and enquire as to how i am and would i mind if they stay with me, even tho we hardly really know each other
now i realise we are family, i do honestly, i totally get it! but i would NEVER be as rude as she has been to me
so the dilemma is this - do i simply say 'no sorry, won't be convenient for you to stay but happy to recommend some hotels' (which is what i want to do) or do i have to 'for the sake of family peace' suck it up??????
told you - it really is a no win situation!
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2 comments:
MMmmmmmm is she one of the dumb people? If she is, perhaps you need to allow for that.
Remember, dumb people have no thought about the implications of their actions.
However, remember dumb people also make us realise about how lucky we are for what we have got (in addition to intelligence).
Family aren't always great. I know at times I have certainly thought that if I met some of my family at say a BBQ, I probably wouldn't have anything to do with them.
Given that she is your cousin, perhaps she has had a conversation with other relatives of yours in the UK. Perhaps these relatives, who do know you, have made the suggestion to contact your mum "because I am sure they will be fine with that".
You do make the comment that she was raised similar to you, so maybe she has done some enquiring of relatives that you don't know about.
I think you need to ask yourself the question, "am I not wanting her stay because it is actually inconvenient for me?" OR are you just saying no because she hasn't necessarily sent communication in a form that you would use.
Remember that you do a lot of written communication, and maybe she doesn't do so much. There is a thing called netiquette and not everyone has been educated on its principles.
Given that it is your home, it is obviously your right to say who can and can not share your private space, but also think - I have a wonderful private space that I can share.
The question is, do you want to share your private space????
ok, well thanks for the thoughts - honest answer is this: i don't like her much, we have nothing in common and i'd rather not have them hanging around for 4 nights the week before xmas.......i feel no coming on!!!
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