i'm so glad it's friday.....

and not in the 'thank god it's friday' sort of a way, and not because i hate my job and the people i work with and couldn't wait to leave (i don't) and not because i've been out two nights this week and am tired (i am) or because i have had a bad headache and am seeimngly unable to go more than 4 hours without nurofen...

i am just really glad that i have two days to myself after what has been a week filled with challenge...truth is the last week or so has been rather an ordeal, emotionally anyway, and only now is it starting to catch up with me, resulting in me feeling a bit like i've been through the ringer...

guess my 'session' on saturday last week was the start of a period of reflection about where i find myself and the changes i would like to effect in my life. and whilst i am absolutely a fan of 'learning more about myself' there are times when it would be nice to have a period of feeling if not perfect, then pretty close to it - you understand what i'm talking about right??

see i've been on a journey of 'behavioural change' - self imposed i might add - and there are times when the journey, or more accurately what effort is required by me, proves too much - you know kinda like when you're on a long plane trip and you keep looking at the time or the map on channel 13 to see how much further the plane needs to travel to get anywhere near the ultimate destination, only to realise that almost every time you check only 5 minutes has passed, and you're on a 13 hour flight...

then there was the 'realisation' that i still liked someone who i thought perhaps i had gotten over, and whilst i am over the disappointment i felt when things didn't go how i might have liked, i am clearly not able to put him out of my mind...

and as i'm writing this i realise that i have almost forgotten one of my platitudes (and not one that i push down people's throats, more something that i have chosen to adopt as a way of trying to live my life): you know the one where we remind ourselves that the journey is more important than the destination...perhaps i should now remind myself of that and realise that no matter what the journey presents in terms of challenges along the way, my experience tells me that:

- things are NOT always as they seem;
- this too shall pass; and
- time is the great healer

so even though i'm tired and feel as though i could sleep for days on end and even though i think i have no energy left to take on anything that might be remotely taxing in an emotional way, i find myself smiling and thinking that what i am experiencing is LIFE...and even though the journey is sometimes difficult, and even though the learnings aren't always clear and easy to embrace, this is my LIFE - this is my journey.....and you know what? despite everything, i wouldn't change a thing...