honestly? so following the 'not so good' meeting with my boss the last day before my break, and an email containing information which sent me into a spin on tuesday, i have spent a fair bit of time wondering just how long i'm going to stick this job out...
sure, mentioning things like that to my dad sent him into a spin - mental note to self: you do NOT have to stay in a job because everyone else expects you to!
sure, i like most things about it, but i realised that whenever there is conflict (i don't like conflict, not many people do, but i'm at least ok to admit it!) and the possibility that my reputation or integrity could be questioned (not because of my actions, but because of other people's lack of it) i really just want to run away...
it's true! and so my NY's resolutions (i usually don't make them) are as follows:
1) finish novel
2) stop taking things so personally
3) stop taking responsibility for everything
added to those is really a desire to become more resilient, in certain instances to become WAY more circumspect (and try not to lose me in the process)....
anyway, i've digressed - real question is: how long am i gonna stick out the job? when i took it i told myself 3 years, and now, some 6 months in, that feels like a very very very long commitment! of course but that might just be due to my emotional reaction to recent events....
time will tell i guess - it always does...when things aren't clear, waiting it out is always a good option!
so, lot's of work to do (at work and on self) in 2012 - fuck, isn't there always lots to do?
not that i mind...one of the things i have learned about life, and myself, is that no matter how much work we do on ourselves, there is always more to do, more to learn - in that quest to become the best person we can be...
so i've tried really hard to put the comments of this person out of my mind - to focus on what i know in my heart to be true - to not feel like i have to take all the responsibility for where things are and to just be me - the me that made my coaching business a big success!
on that note, bed is calling - i was unsuccessful in my quest to re-write chapter 28 tonight, so that will have to wait until tomorrow...
nite x
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