meh...

is how i feel today...only word for it really

despite a fabulous victory by Australia in the first test v India and some GREAT bowling....

despite having had a nice break in the 'berra with the fam for xmas

despite how good i usually appraise my life to be...

yep, i feel meh! of course all of this could be due to the fact that i got my period today, so one can never be certain that those feelings are likely to stick around (real, yes but maybe only v v temporary and hormonally influenced...)..

but i feel lonely! i love xmas with my family but as another year goes by and me single, and seemingly no-one on the horizon, i reflect on how much nicer it might be to spend the holiday season (or should i say christmas season, as i am neither jewish, muslim nor PC!) with someone...someone special, as well as my fam...

a random text message on boxing day also didn't help, as i really did think it was Chris and so a number of thoughts about him and what happened also started flying through my head, so imagine my surprise when it turns out not to be him that i'm disappointed - what a head fuck (as Sallyanne would say!)....

could also be that as a result of all of this and last night's PMT, i decided to text the bloke from work that i have a crush on....fuck! so wish i hadn't done that...harmless conversation ensued, but i had really wanted to not make contact with him over the break, mainly because i can't get a read on his feelings, so me initiating, ain't gonna help make that any clearer...

soooo really meh is where it's at...perhaps a night on the couch with Being Erica S3 will help!