not the best of days....

and nothing really bad has happened...meaning nobody i love or care about has been hurt, nobody i love has died, nothing in particular has happened i'm just in a funk...perhaps it's a case of the mean reds...

started mid to late afternoon yesterday when on the way to the airport with my dad he asked me if i'd met anyone, and was i over Ben etc etc

to be honest, i am so busy right now that i haven't really had too much time to think about it, but yeah, i guess sometimes being single is lonely...

for the most part i love it and since i took this job, which i also love (for the most part, otherwise this post would have no basis in reality!) i haven't had much time for anything but work, tennis, friends, family, exercise (although i definitely have less time for it!) and rejuvenating...oh and during November, NaNoWriMo...

but when i got home last night i felt sad - perhaps not so much sad as reminiscent - the question about Ben got me thinking about him and only the day before I told my mother that i dodged a bullet with Ben...maybe i felt bad about saying that? maybe the universe is punishing me?  either way i felt sad

wasn't helped by an email from a colleague who is clearly pissed off with me right now - he's been showing attitude towards me in recent weeks and i can't pinpoint what is going on - at some point i will get up the courage to ask him, but in the meantime he's been cranky with me, late to my meetings (often he doesn't turn up at all), he is pushing back on things that i make decisions on and he was rude to a staff member of mine...

of course his excuse is that he's busy - well, fuck, who the hell isn't busy? we have a bucket load of things to do and he is under enormous pressure (i know this for a fact), but still...

anyway, it's kind of added to my melancholy (good word that) and i find myself deep in a funk...

so, hope the rain in Jo'burg will stop and i will get to watch some cricket - hope Lexie (my main character) will do something good in tonight's instalment and i hope i get a good nights sleep so i can go to tomorrow's mnt meeting with good humour and a kind and open heart....