bubble girl....

ah yes, have bean hanging out for this feeling since thursday evening...

had a full on week at work last week, well technically only 4 days since i had friday off, but by thursday night it felt like i'd worked a whole week! last weekend was interrupted on saturday and sunday by some work related issues and by monday i felt as though i hadn't had a proper weekend (shouldn't complain and this isn't a complaint, as some of my colleagues spent their ENTIRE weekends at work)...worked like some sort of crazed adrenaline junkie throughout the week (which included melbourne cup) and the start of NaNoWriMo and by thursday night when i left work i was  dizzy from exhaustion...that doesn't happen to me too often

didn't sleep too well on thursday night, rarely do when i have house guests, and friday we shopped, literally until we dropped...my designs of a morning shop, lunch out then an afternoon nap before a walk and then a home cooked dinner soon fell by the wayside...

got some great stuff mind and in all, was happy with the day

saturday some more of the same but this time at paddington markets, which i LOVE! Paddo markets is one of those archetypal Sydney things! always there, always good, seems impossible to leave without having either picked up a unique something or gotten a few great ideas for clothes or house stuff...love it! then afternoon tea in the QVB and a bit more 'browsing' before heading home around 5.30pm by which stage another entire day had passed and all we had done was shop and eat!

quieter night last night and a nice home cooked meal and then this morning, which despite my desire for a quiet sunday morning, was a reasonably emotionally charged morning with an admission from the visiting friend that she thought she'd done something to upset me yesterday and had she pissed me off and that she'd been tossing and turning all night...

fuck! so NOT how i wanted my sunday morning to go...so a lengthy discussion follows and i sit there, trying to be as calm as possible, and we go through it all...certainly, good thing to do but i recommend a) not being tired and b) having had some reflection time before doing such a thing...me, neither!  anyway, all's well that ends well (or that's how the saying goes right?) but i can tell you that i have spent some time reflecting since it all unfolded...

exhausting frankly....over now and i guess resolved, but exhausting...

in the time since this friend re-appeared in my life this time last year, after a 16 year hiatus, at her doing, albeit not voluntarily, i have pondered on where it will go? whether or not we would be able to re-establish a connection that would allow us to have a meaningful friendship going forward? whether or not that's what i wanted? sure, part of the pull is that we had a good friendship 20 or so years ago, well as good as we could back then, but neither of us knew anything about life or ourselves back then...

we're different now, i'm certainly different now, and i have found myself questioning where it might all end up, and trying to work out where i'd like it to end up...

coming up empty frankly

can't decide

not sure i have to

so for now, i'm going to be content with being back in my beautiful little bubble...ah!