without the third wheel!
this is what ben says to me this morning while we are on the train...charming! it was so funny we both laughed and now, only an hour or so later, i can't even remember what i did that prompted him to say it!
thank you baby...
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
the simple things really are...
the best!
ben and i had the nicest day today.....
woke up late, had tea in bed, went back to bed for a snooze, and didn't crawl out (despite the fabulous weather) until nearly 1pm...went to manly for lunch, checked out some people, went to meet the functions girl at the steyne hotel (where i'm having my 40th), saw the room i'd tentatively booked, love it....had a look round the shops, came home, had some more tea and just hung around the house...
sure some of you will think that it was a waste of a day, but we enjoyed it...it was kinda like being on holiday at home! what could be better than that?
ben and i had the nicest day today.....
woke up late, had tea in bed, went back to bed for a snooze, and didn't crawl out (despite the fabulous weather) until nearly 1pm...went to manly for lunch, checked out some people, went to meet the functions girl at the steyne hotel (where i'm having my 40th), saw the room i'd tentatively booked, love it....had a look round the shops, came home, had some more tea and just hung around the house...
sure some of you will think that it was a waste of a day, but we enjoyed it...it was kinda like being on holiday at home! what could be better than that?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
it's been a good few days really...
despite my brief period of malaise this afternoon...brought on by my frustration at not being able to easily lose weight even though we are working really hard at it: eating well, exercising 6 days out of 7...would seem that either i've hit an age where losing weight is even harder than it used to be or the mini pill is not helping, and i don't like to use that as an excuse but when you've eaten well (read healthily) for 3 weeks and exercised every day bar one day a week for the same period, you should notice some change in your weight right? or at least if not in weight, in the tightness of some clothes...apparently it's just not that easy anymore sob sob sob...
anyway i digress! coz other than that it actually HAS been a good few days...i went to a shirt viewing on thursday and managed to buy 2 shirts in 3 minutes - not only were they very reasonably priced (usually retail for $199 and I got them for $80 each) but they fit me perfectly and made me look slim! gotta love that - actually surprised i only bought two...
made a decision on thursday (following a good chat with a sage and wise mentor at work) to stick out the current role...this has taken away some of the self imposed pressure to find things to make me look busy - frankly, it's not my fault i'm not 100% occupied - my time will come...also the guy i work for assured me that he's really keen for me to stick around when things do get busier and more interesting - that proved a much needed boost of confidence and made the decision to stay a whole lot easier...
on a more exciting note, the time i have had to think about things has in fact been well spent! i have worked out that in a little over a year i can leave corporate life in a fulltime capacity (think i've already mentioned this)...what i also worked out was that at current chargeout rates, by seeing only 3 clients a week (yep, 6 hours of work in 2 business days) i can continue to earn the same money i earn today! and here's me thinking that moving into something i love doing was going to necessitate a big pay cut...
of course, if i was trying to supplement my lost income with counselling income, it would be a pay cut but i've decided that the segue (or shall i say transition) job is going to be coaching - to me they are reasonably complementary (not that i intend to mix counselling and coaching with the same clients) and the coaching allows me to capitalise on my great corporate experience whilst doing something i love...and allows me a bit more time within which to get my Masters of Counselling...
so wednesday night before school i met up with a friend (a friend i met thru the counselling course but funnily enough in the same week i first met her, she was also doing consulting at my workplace...) for a cup of tea - we haven't seen each other for ages and not only was it lovely to catch up on her news and what's going on in her life, she also said that she would be VERY happy to refer me to the area of her work (big consulting/accounting firm) that co-ordinate their coaching providers.......
then i told this to the colleague at work who has become a bit more than a colleague on thursday, and she said she knows the same sort of contacts at another big firm, and that she would HAPPILY introduce me...
then, to top off an already good week, on friday afternoon i met up with a colleague of my friend geoff who i might have mentioned the other week (geoff and i used to work together, he left, now he's ceo of a company that does outplacement/coaching) - her name is nan...amazing meeting and one that not only ran over 30 minutes or more, but one where from minute one i felt really comfortable with this lady! she let me talk and express my ideas about how i might get to where i want to be, gave me some advice, confirmed that the accreditation course i want to do will be worth it and give me some credibility in the field, and also said that if things became untenable at my current workplace in the next 14 months, to give them a call!!!
i have always been amazed at how supportive and encouraging people are when you not only choose to follow your dream but share with them your enthusiasm and passion!
soooo it's kinda all coming together! so then this afternoon i also got myself an ABN and tomorrow hope to secure 2 domain names (ones i like!) so that eventually i won't have to settle for a domain name i neither like, nor is indicative of the work i will be doing...
don't you LOVE it when a plan comes together?
anyway i digress! coz other than that it actually HAS been a good few days...i went to a shirt viewing on thursday and managed to buy 2 shirts in 3 minutes - not only were they very reasonably priced (usually retail for $199 and I got them for $80 each) but they fit me perfectly and made me look slim! gotta love that - actually surprised i only bought two...
made a decision on thursday (following a good chat with a sage and wise mentor at work) to stick out the current role...this has taken away some of the self imposed pressure to find things to make me look busy - frankly, it's not my fault i'm not 100% occupied - my time will come...also the guy i work for assured me that he's really keen for me to stick around when things do get busier and more interesting - that proved a much needed boost of confidence and made the decision to stay a whole lot easier...
on a more exciting note, the time i have had to think about things has in fact been well spent! i have worked out that in a little over a year i can leave corporate life in a fulltime capacity (think i've already mentioned this)...what i also worked out was that at current chargeout rates, by seeing only 3 clients a week (yep, 6 hours of work in 2 business days) i can continue to earn the same money i earn today! and here's me thinking that moving into something i love doing was going to necessitate a big pay cut...
of course, if i was trying to supplement my lost income with counselling income, it would be a pay cut but i've decided that the segue (or shall i say transition) job is going to be coaching - to me they are reasonably complementary (not that i intend to mix counselling and coaching with the same clients) and the coaching allows me to capitalise on my great corporate experience whilst doing something i love...and allows me a bit more time within which to get my Masters of Counselling...
so wednesday night before school i met up with a friend (a friend i met thru the counselling course but funnily enough in the same week i first met her, she was also doing consulting at my workplace...) for a cup of tea - we haven't seen each other for ages and not only was it lovely to catch up on her news and what's going on in her life, she also said that she would be VERY happy to refer me to the area of her work (big consulting/accounting firm) that co-ordinate their coaching providers.......
then i told this to the colleague at work who has become a bit more than a colleague on thursday, and she said she knows the same sort of contacts at another big firm, and that she would HAPPILY introduce me...
then, to top off an already good week, on friday afternoon i met up with a colleague of my friend geoff who i might have mentioned the other week (geoff and i used to work together, he left, now he's ceo of a company that does outplacement/coaching) - her name is nan...amazing meeting and one that not only ran over 30 minutes or more, but one where from minute one i felt really comfortable with this lady! she let me talk and express my ideas about how i might get to where i want to be, gave me some advice, confirmed that the accreditation course i want to do will be worth it and give me some credibility in the field, and also said that if things became untenable at my current workplace in the next 14 months, to give them a call!!!
i have always been amazed at how supportive and encouraging people are when you not only choose to follow your dream but share with them your enthusiasm and passion!
soooo it's kinda all coming together! so then this afternoon i also got myself an ABN and tomorrow hope to secure 2 domain names (ones i like!) so that eventually i won't have to settle for a domain name i neither like, nor is indicative of the work i will be doing...
don't you LOVE it when a plan comes together?
Friday, October 17, 2008
ben is always saying
he's gonna write a letter! you know when someone pisses him off, when a company doesn't live up to it's promise, when people just generally behave badly etc etc...
so i took a leaf out of his book and wrote my own letter today! to someone i thought i would NEVER have to write a letter to!
yep, sad but true - Tiffany's warranted a letter! and not a good one let me tell you! i had nothing short of a bad experience in there today and so decided rather than let it just go i would complain - so i went onto their website and wrote them an email - a blunt email about how dissatisfied i was...
let's see what happens! methinks probably nothing, but i got a small amount of satisfaction just from writing it - wonder how long that will last....
so i took a leaf out of his book and wrote my own letter today! to someone i thought i would NEVER have to write a letter to!
yep, sad but true - Tiffany's warranted a letter! and not a good one let me tell you! i had nothing short of a bad experience in there today and so decided rather than let it just go i would complain - so i went onto their website and wrote them an email - a blunt email about how dissatisfied i was...
let's see what happens! methinks probably nothing, but i got a small amount of satisfaction just from writing it - wonder how long that will last....
Thursday, October 16, 2008
inspired...
is how i felt lastnight - i caught up for tea with a friend from uni (one i haven't seen for a while) before uni lastnight and it was great - great to see her, great to catch up on each other's news and great that she has offered to introduce me to the person in her company who manages all 'coaches'....
i was pretty chuffed - got me thinking about all the stuff i need to think about to create a business - name, logo, website, business cards, business development (this one's kinda key and something i'm not great at)...so much so when the alarm went off this morning and ben chose to go back to sleep, i just lay there thinking of how excited i would be to wake up every morning knowing that i was doing something i love!
honestly, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to wait 14 months - and now i know you are asking - so why am i waiting 14 months? well it's a financial reason - see when i was doing a more senior job (ie my finance job) and when i was a high performer (ie a bit more serious about the whole corporate life thingy) my employer gave me shares - however, like all such 'incentives' they come with a vesting period - in my case 3 years and so on 18 dec 2009 they will all be mine...
and frankly, i'm not one to stick around somewhere if i really hate it! and i don't actually really hate it - i'm just a little unchallenged right now, but a number of sage and trusted advisors assure me that this is par for the course when working on an integration and that things will 'busy up' soon enough!
sooo i've decided to stick this role out - coupla reasons really....one is that the person i work for is gonna be left in the lurch if i bail out now and that's not really my style! secondly is that having worked on such a project is gonna make coaching people experiencing big organisational change much easier when a) i've experienced it myself and b) it'll mean i'm more credible having lived through it...
soooo in the meantime i'm gonna try and stay positive about work, remember why i'm there, and plan for my future! a future that's gonna involve a lot more passion in my work and one where i am truly helping people....
bring it on!
i was pretty chuffed - got me thinking about all the stuff i need to think about to create a business - name, logo, website, business cards, business development (this one's kinda key and something i'm not great at)...so much so when the alarm went off this morning and ben chose to go back to sleep, i just lay there thinking of how excited i would be to wake up every morning knowing that i was doing something i love!
honestly, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to wait 14 months - and now i know you are asking - so why am i waiting 14 months? well it's a financial reason - see when i was doing a more senior job (ie my finance job) and when i was a high performer (ie a bit more serious about the whole corporate life thingy) my employer gave me shares - however, like all such 'incentives' they come with a vesting period - in my case 3 years and so on 18 dec 2009 they will all be mine...
and frankly, i'm not one to stick around somewhere if i really hate it! and i don't actually really hate it - i'm just a little unchallenged right now, but a number of sage and trusted advisors assure me that this is par for the course when working on an integration and that things will 'busy up' soon enough!
sooo i've decided to stick this role out - coupla reasons really....one is that the person i work for is gonna be left in the lurch if i bail out now and that's not really my style! secondly is that having worked on such a project is gonna make coaching people experiencing big organisational change much easier when a) i've experienced it myself and b) it'll mean i'm more credible having lived through it...
soooo in the meantime i'm gonna try and stay positive about work, remember why i'm there, and plan for my future! a future that's gonna involve a lot more passion in my work and one where i am truly helping people....
bring it on!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
things to be grateful for....
are in number today! actually, now that i am over my little dummy spit of last week - you know the one where i had written an ENTIRE post and lost it - i am starting to try and think more positively about things...
sure, work is not what i would like, but unlike many people, i do have a job, that pays me well...
things with ben are fabulous, having him in my life is something i am grateful for at least once a day (usually way more than that but i don't want to gush....), my health is ok (it's not great and i have been fighting a lurgy for a week or so but methinks it is work related malaise....), my home is a safe haven as always, my 40th birthday celebrations are no longer a source of stress as i have confirmed a venue i'm really happy with, and sorted out the theme - only a few loose ends to tie up, i've made some good contacts with regard to my future career direction (coaching), i've met a really nice person at work who is a good sounding board and becoming a good friend...and as work continues to be unchallenging i have made some inroads into working out how to transition into something that will be more me...
really things aren't so bad - sometimes it's so easy to fall into the trap of letting one or two things cloud one's judgement and things get out of perspective way too easily - guess i'm only human, sometimes it's gonna happen!
so i'm gonna try and focus on the good stuff when work just isn't working! and hopefully by being more positive it will be the catalyst for more good things to come into my life...
sure, work is not what i would like, but unlike many people, i do have a job, that pays me well...
things with ben are fabulous, having him in my life is something i am grateful for at least once a day (usually way more than that but i don't want to gush....), my health is ok (it's not great and i have been fighting a lurgy for a week or so but methinks it is work related malaise....), my home is a safe haven as always, my 40th birthday celebrations are no longer a source of stress as i have confirmed a venue i'm really happy with, and sorted out the theme - only a few loose ends to tie up, i've made some good contacts with regard to my future career direction (coaching), i've met a really nice person at work who is a good sounding board and becoming a good friend...and as work continues to be unchallenging i have made some inroads into working out how to transition into something that will be more me...
really things aren't so bad - sometimes it's so easy to fall into the trap of letting one or two things cloud one's judgement and things get out of perspective way too easily - guess i'm only human, sometimes it's gonna happen!
so i'm gonna try and focus on the good stuff when work just isn't working! and hopefully by being more positive it will be the catalyst for more good things to come into my life...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
disenfranchised...
was what i was gonna post about tonight and ten minutes of writing has disappeared, so now, not only am i disenfranchised with work but i am really fucked off....
Sunday, October 5, 2008
doin the eagle rock....
well the sea eagles have done it - they've got the monkey of last years grand final well and truly off their backs with a stunning, stupendous, emphatic victory over the melbourne storm
couldn't happen to a better side...
40 to nil: a score line befitting the team i thought were absolutely the best all year, who's defence almost always underpinned their victories, who know absolutely what it is to play as a team, and who tonight had a team of stars on display - only one of them could get the clive churchill tonight but every one of them was in the running...
good to see them come back in sea eagles style! nice one desi hasler! and what a great way for steve 'beaver' menzies to leave the game - a try, a premiership and a brilliant career...hope the english appreciate everything you've got to offer beaver - you'll be missed at brookie...
ben tells me it's just not on to change teams and a small part of me knows that - maybe if i hadn't been a manly fan in the first place i might be feeling uncomfortable about it, and yeah it might be weird in future if the bulldogs ever play manly in a gf - guess that will really be the test ey? but i'm pretty sure that i'm switching the order back, actually maybe i'm just switching back...
so the next question is what to do with all my bulldogs gear???
couldn't happen to a better side...
40 to nil: a score line befitting the team i thought were absolutely the best all year, who's defence almost always underpinned their victories, who know absolutely what it is to play as a team, and who tonight had a team of stars on display - only one of them could get the clive churchill tonight but every one of them was in the running...
good to see them come back in sea eagles style! nice one desi hasler! and what a great way for steve 'beaver' menzies to leave the game - a try, a premiership and a brilliant career...hope the english appreciate everything you've got to offer beaver - you'll be missed at brookie...
ben tells me it's just not on to change teams and a small part of me knows that - maybe if i hadn't been a manly fan in the first place i might be feeling uncomfortable about it, and yeah it might be weird in future if the bulldogs ever play manly in a gf - guess that will really be the test ey? but i'm pretty sure that i'm switching the order back, actually maybe i'm just switching back...
so the next question is what to do with all my bulldogs gear???
Thursday, October 2, 2008
re-connecting...
with people from my past seems to be the order of the week...
a lot of people from my past are very much in the forefront of my mind of late and really i can't think of what might have prompted that...
one girlfriend, who for a time was my best friend, has been on my mind for some time and even though about 9 - 10 months i chose to leave that friendship behind, i wanted to let her know this week that she had often been in my thoughts and that i hoped she was doing well...
last thursday/friday i was thinking about another close girlfriend of times gone by (we just drifted as our lives took different directions) and came across a website of photos that her husband had taken...
so this week, on monday actually, i emailed the first girlfriend to simply say hi, to let her know she was in my thoughts and to enquire about how things were going...she advised me of the death of the second girlfriends husband late last week...
the two girlfriends were not friends in their own right but knew each other through my friendships with them...
how strange that i should a) not only be thinking about susi and dion on the very day that he passed away, but that i should email the other girlfriend who told me that he had died...
i guess i'm still reeling as to not only the sadness i feel for susi and her children at the loss of dion, i am also amazed by the serendipity of having got in touch when i did...
so i have been thinking since monday a lot about dion and what he meant to me - i saw him pretty much every weekend for a period of 2 - 3 years when susi and i were spending a lot of time together - we always got on well - he was a lovely bloke - creative, talented, funny, kind and a fabulous dad...
one particular time i remember how kind he was to me and how much i appreciated what he did for me - see an ex boyfriend of mine came up from canberra, we had a big falling out and he left me a cruel and hurtful note and the situation was so frightening that i was too afraid to return to my own home alone...dion drove half way across town with me very late one night to make sure that i was safe...
so to dion: i hope you are at peace, i'm sorry you didn't get to see your lovely children grow up and i hope that you left this world with no regrets
to susi: my heart goes out to you and the children (as i said to you on the phone) and i hope that we get to re-connect some time soon
i really do believe that everything happen for a reason...
a lot of people from my past are very much in the forefront of my mind of late and really i can't think of what might have prompted that...
one girlfriend, who for a time was my best friend, has been on my mind for some time and even though about 9 - 10 months i chose to leave that friendship behind, i wanted to let her know this week that she had often been in my thoughts and that i hoped she was doing well...
last thursday/friday i was thinking about another close girlfriend of times gone by (we just drifted as our lives took different directions) and came across a website of photos that her husband had taken...
so this week, on monday actually, i emailed the first girlfriend to simply say hi, to let her know she was in my thoughts and to enquire about how things were going...she advised me of the death of the second girlfriends husband late last week...
the two girlfriends were not friends in their own right but knew each other through my friendships with them...
how strange that i should a) not only be thinking about susi and dion on the very day that he passed away, but that i should email the other girlfriend who told me that he had died...
i guess i'm still reeling as to not only the sadness i feel for susi and her children at the loss of dion, i am also amazed by the serendipity of having got in touch when i did...
so i have been thinking since monday a lot about dion and what he meant to me - i saw him pretty much every weekend for a period of 2 - 3 years when susi and i were spending a lot of time together - we always got on well - he was a lovely bloke - creative, talented, funny, kind and a fabulous dad...
one particular time i remember how kind he was to me and how much i appreciated what he did for me - see an ex boyfriend of mine came up from canberra, we had a big falling out and he left me a cruel and hurtful note and the situation was so frightening that i was too afraid to return to my own home alone...dion drove half way across town with me very late one night to make sure that i was safe...
so to dion: i hope you are at peace, i'm sorry you didn't get to see your lovely children grow up and i hope that you left this world with no regrets
to susi: my heart goes out to you and the children (as i said to you on the phone) and i hope that we get to re-connect some time soon
i really do believe that everything happen for a reason...
what do you do when you really
don't like (hate is a strong word, but methinks in this case it might actually apply) someone you work with???
the counsellor in me is trying to conjure up some empathy for this poor pathetic creature, but clearly, that's not working!
the counsellor in me is also trying to work out what it is about this person that pushes my buttons, as maybe my 'strong reaction' actually says more about me than it does about her???
anyway, i don't like her, i don't like sitting 2 desks down from her, i can't stand the sound of her stupid proper english voice and i do not want to have to work with her!!!
yep, i'm done!
the counsellor in me is trying to conjure up some empathy for this poor pathetic creature, but clearly, that's not working!
the counsellor in me is also trying to work out what it is about this person that pushes my buttons, as maybe my 'strong reaction' actually says more about me than it does about her???
anyway, i don't like her, i don't like sitting 2 desks down from her, i can't stand the sound of her stupid proper english voice and i do not want to have to work with her!!!
yep, i'm done!
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